5 Reasons You Got Dumped (And What They Really Mean)

Man Holding Hands With Another Woman Behind His Girlfriend's Back

There are many different reasons why couples break up and relationships end.  Sometimes you get dumped.  Other times, you’re the one doing the dumping.  Regardless, if you want to salvage the relationship, it’s important to first understand why the breakup occurred.

In the Text Your Ex Back program, author and relationship expert Michael Fiore (www.MichaelFiore.org) says,

Getting dumped sucks. It doesn’t matter how nice your ex was, or how long you saw it coming–it’s a blow to the ego.

All is not lost. A strategic program of texting may be able to bring your ex back into your arms. But before you send a single text, you need to figure out WHY your ex broke up with you. Otherwise, you might end up just making things worse!

NOTE: This is not necessarily the same as why they SAY they broke up with you. It might be, but it might not be. Getting to the core reason is going to require painful analysis and honesty. It’s worth it, trust me.

So today, I want to focus on getting dumped.  If your boyfriend or girlfriend dumped you, here are 5 possible reasons why and what they really mean.

5 Reasons Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend May Have Dumped You

1. “You never talk to me.” Or “I just don’t understand you.”

If this is the reason your ex gave you for breaking up, what it really means is, “We don’t communicate very well.”  A woman is more likely to say this to a man than the other way around.

If you’re a man, the solution is to learn how to speak your heart more freely.  If you’re a woman, the solution is to learn how to speak in a language your man actually understands.  Check out James Bauer’s What Men Secretly Want for tips on how to do this.

2. “I’m in love with someone else.”

This one stings more than most.  Knowing the person you love is in love with someone else is truly gut-wrenching.  The good news is, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.  Once your ex has been with the other person for a while, they may very well realize what they lost.

If you hope to eventually win your ex back, you can’t let the situation eat away at you.   Instead, you need to act unbothered, put your best foot forward, and slowly open the door to reconciliation over time.

3. “You never appreciate anything I do.” Or “You don’t respect me.”

In this case, your ex most likely feels they are never “good enough” for you.  They don’t feel validated in the relationship.  They may even feel constantly broken down.

These feelings can be brought on if you are constantly nagging, complaining, or criticizing the things your ex says or does. To get your ex back, you’ll need to accept them for who they are and work on building them back up so they can regain their self-esteem.

4. “It’s not you. It’s me.”

If there was ever a prototypical breakup line, this is it.  It sounds extremely vague, but it can actually mean several different things.  If your ex fed you this line when they broke up with you, then it could mean:

They are bored in the relationship.

Their physical and emotional needs aren’t getting met.

They no longer feel attracted to you but don’t want to hurt your feelings.

They haven’t yet figured out who they really are and exactly what they want in a partner.

5. “Our relationship isn’t going anywhere.”

If you’re a woman, you won’t usually hear this from a man.  However, if you’re a man, a woman may give you this reason when she breaks up with you.  It’s more likely to happen if you’ve been together for a long time.

For example, if you’ve been dating several years, but have never proposed. In this case, you either need to prove to her that you’re ready and capable of taking things to the “next level”, or you need to convince her that now is not the right time to advance the relationship.

Are You Man Enough To Meet Her Parents? Use This Checklist To Find Out

You’re a great guy.  You’re nice.  You’re sweet.  You treat her really well.  But is all that enough to get her to take you home to meet her parents?  Is it enough for her to keep you around?

Keep reading.  We’ve got a checklist to help you figure out if you’ve got long-term potential and are the type of man she wants to bring home to meet mom and dad.

Do this to make her want to be your girlfriend and you’ll always be man enough to meet her parents…

Are you working and bringing home an income?  If not, do you have a reasonable explanation such as being a college student, recently getting laid off, or in the middle of job hunting?  It doesn’t matter what your job is.  You can be a doctor.  You can deliver pizzas.  If you want to meet mom and dad, what matters is you treat your job with respect and do it to the best of your ability.


Are you responsible?  Do you follow through when you make promises or tell people you’re going to do something?  Or do you make commitments and then bail on people?

Are your friends and family important to you?  Do you treat them like they are and speak well of them?  She will see this as a sign of how you will treat her family.

Do you manage your money well?  It doesn’t matter how much money you make.  It’s about how you use it.  Do you pay your bills on time?  Do you save money and have a reserve fund in case of emergencies or do you spend every penny as soon as you get it and constantly find yourself in debt?

Are you comfortable interacting with kids?  Do you treat them with kindness, affection, and patience?  If she loves kids and wants a family, this will be important.  If you don’t like or want kids, it’s better to find a woman who also doesn’t want kids before it becomes a huge issue down the road.

Don't Be A Slob If You Want To Attract WomenDo you smell good or do you stink?  That might seem like a funny question, but ask yourself this: do you want a stinky girlfriend?  Didn’t think so.  If you want to meet mom and dad, basic good hygiene is required.

Are you a slob?  You might not mind the empty beer cans and week old pizza boxes sitting around your house or apartment, but she does.  Things don’t have to be impeccable.  Just tidy up every now and then, and keep places like the kitchen and bathroom nice and clean.  Disgusting bathrooms = big turn off for women!

Do you know how to act around other people?  Are you polite and do you treat people with respect?  Can you handle yourself in a crowd or with people you don’t know?  Do you care about other people and getting to know them or is everything about you?  How you converse and interact with others can be extremely important to women.  So much so that it can often make or break the relationship.

At the end of the day, what does it all mean?  To put it bluntly, if you want a woman to desire you and see you as a man she can be with forever, you need to have your shit together.  Check out the Girlfriend Activation System if you still haven’t got your shit together when it comes to women.

If you date a woman long enough, she will eventually start asking herself if you’re really worthy of her.  If you want to pass all of her tests and become part of her family, even in just a casual way, then you need to consider all of the above qualifications.  If some of them don’t jive with you, it may be time to do a self-assessment and identify any shortcomings holding you back from getting her long-term commitment.

The Best Way To Approach A Girl At A Bar To Avoid Rejection

Women Sitting At A Bar And Having A Great Time

Let’s face it. When it comes to approaching beautiful women, most men freeze up!

Although some are lucky enough to make eye contact from across the room and even get a positive response, many of these men still refuse to walk over and say hello. The fear of rejection is incredibly strong, and there’s no doubt approaching a girl is something many men struggle with.

Approaching women should be fun, not terrifying, right? So, is there anything that makes it easier? What’s the best way to approach a girl at a bar to reduce the risk of rejection and make it an enjoyable experience?

Focus On Having Fun

Research suggests most women visit bars for one main reason: they want to have fun. After all, there’s a reason they call it “happy hour”!

After a long, tiring day at work, nothing is more relaxing than getting ready for a night out on the town, hanging out with friends, feeling good, having some drinks, and meeting new and interesting people. When approaching women at a bar, focus on the experience of having fun rather than the idea of “picking up chicks”.

When you go into an approach thinking, “She’s stunning. I really gotta get this girl to like me and take her home with me,” it puts too much pressure on the situation, and you end up stumbling your way through an awkward encounter.

If you’re worried about making a great first impression, there’s a program I can’t recommend highly enough. It’s called the Girlfriend Activation System, and there’s a nice write up about it over at stabilitypact.org. Even if you don’t want to turn a girl into your girlfriend, it contains the best stuff out there on “impression” and getting women to like you right from the start.

Don’t Be A “Shark”

Go to a bar often enough and you’ll see men who circle women like sharks on the prowl. Don’t be one of them.

Women know this type of guy only wants one thing, so don’t act like a starving hunter! You’ll just end up going home alone.

Don’t Worry About The Outcome

The best way to approach a girl at a bar is by being true to yourself and having confidence. Confident men don’t worry about what other people think of them. They don’t think about rejection. They don’t worry about the outcome of their interactions with women.

What you say doesn’t matter as much when you say it with conviction and confidence.

Watch For The Damsel In Distress

It’s no surprise that Askmen.com reports the women of today are very different from those of yesteryear. They’re stronger. They’re more independent. They’re confident, assertive, and they certainly don’t like to waste their time on idiotic guys who don’t even know how to approach them.

Unfortunately, they have no choice but to endure these morons who think they have a chance. Truth be told, you can take this as an opportunity to woo women at bars.

If you see a woman who seems totally disinterested or “trapped” by a man she’s talking to, don’t be afraid to move in and save her from a long and boring night.

Be Interesting

Make your life an adventure so you always have something new and exciting to talk about. Women love stories and, as the man, you’ll be responsible for directing the conversation at first.

It’s not about telling lies or making stuff up. Rather, it’s about living an interesting life full of mystery, adventure, and fun. Approaching a woman at a bar is much easier when you have the confidence to steer the conversation in many different directions.

Win Her Over With A Winning Attitude

At the end of the day, when you approach a woman at a bar, what you say isn’t all that important. Chances are, she’ll forget a lot of the details anyway.

Make things fun, be interesting and confident, and keep her guessing. It’s not what you say, but how you make her feel that’s important.